


two monsters

by WattStalf



Series: Femslash February 2017 [26]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Drabble, F/F, Femslash February
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-21 19:51:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9563861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WattStalf/pseuds/WattStalf
Summary: Do I have any right to love?





	

**Author's Note:**

> why is everything i write fuckin awful lmao

“I don't have a right to be in love,” she always said, until she started to believe she might have been wrong about that.

‘ _ I don't know if my love really is love _ ,’ she always said, and she continued to wonder if there was something off about her, if she was doing something wrong.

They're both monsters, they think, and because of that, there will always be something inherently “wrong” about their sort of love. But because they are both monsters, they are drawn ever closer, and wonder if sharing a love and hiding it away from the regular people would be so wrong, or if it might be the best thing they could do.

Anri wants to love Celty precisely because Saika doesn't.

Celty wants to love Anri because she knows she needs something she can see as real.

And so, one day, when the swordswoman grows to accept herself and her own way of loving, and when the headless fairy welcomes her with open arms, two monsters strive to learn if loving one another is what they're supposed to do. Anri is as unsure as she's always been, even after all this time, and Celty is still guiding her, in a way, even though this is somewhat new to her as well.

‘ _ Do I have any right to love? _ ’ she asked her once, meaning it as a genuine question, though Anri had assumed she was offended and apologized profusely. She never gave her a real answer, and Celty still doesn't know. But if Anri has learned to accept herself and has given herself the right to love, then it's okay, isn't it?

Just how different are they, as two monsters? Where do they intersect and where do they separate? Perhaps Anri has more of a right and perhaps she has less of a right. Perhaps Celty shouldn't be trying to pass judgment from where she stands now.

Perhaps it is for the best that they’ve chosen to keep their unanswered questions between them.

Anri has spent so much time trying to find out what love really is, having insubstantial promises of love whispered through her but never having anything real to grasp onto. Now she has  _ something _ , and this is why Celty will let so many questions go unanswered. As long as it is only between them, two monsters, then it doesn’t matter what the answers may be or if they never find them.

Her body tries to reject Celty, but Anri never does, and wants to love her all the more as a result. Maybe she feels that she’s finally safe to be with someone this way; maybe she finally doesn’t have to feel quite so afraid. A monster can love another monster, and they don’t have half as much to fear, she thinks.

Celty will never be able to be completely sure if the sort of love she holds is the same as a human’s, if what she feels can be classified in the same way. But the sort of love she holds for Anri is just right, she thinks, whatever sort of love it may be.


End file.
